Welcome To Drunks Jokes Section

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk's buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the back-seat....

A belligerent drunk walks into a bar and hollers: “I can lick any man in the place!” The nearest customer looks him up and down, then says: “Crude, but direct. Tell me, is this your first time in a gay bar?”

A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked into a bar in Greenwich Village and sat next to a rather attractive woman. “Hi,” he said, “I’m new in town. Can I buy you a drink?” “Get lost,” she remarked, “I am Lesbian.” “Oh, really?”...

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?” “My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.” “Gee, that’s tough,” he replied. “Then...

A customer was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he noticed a tiny little spot on the wall that seemed to be moving. He called it to the bartender’s attention. He glanced at it and said, “It’s a ladybug.” After a moment of stunned silence the customer said, “Good...